Profilectlx.Carlene Tan Li Xuan 11th July 1988. Currently 23+. Studied in St. Anthony's Canossian Primary and Secondary School, SRJC (first 3 months), TPJC, NUS FASS (econs). loves family, friends, chocs, western desserts, yellow, etc etc.
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Sunday, August 28, 2005okay, firstly, i'm in a foul mood.. seriously super bad mood, mainly for 2 reasons, which will be elaborated later on... and i apologize before hand if it sounds vulgar but in an extreme emtional state. could blow anytime... haha...Messege 1: to my best friend's best friend(if he ever reads it). i seriously think u're the dumbest thing on earth. look, she feels something for you but u can't feel a single thing! honestly i think ur sensory neurones are spoilt and can never be repaired. she cares for u from the bottom of her heart yet u don't sense it at all, what are u, plain dumb? she cares for u to the extent that she thinks bout not wanting to add on to ur troubles so she doesn't admit, she cares to the extent of trying to make u think more maturely by wanting u to see 2 sides to the story but u simply put it off as her siding the other party. she cares to the extent that she wants u to be happy at her expense, and yet, u don't notice it at all. instead u took note of someone who sides u like nobody's business, sides u all the while and lets u become a 1 sided self centered freak. seriously i think u're dumb. great, now u made ur marvellous choice and u left her all alone. i doubt u even know she's hurt cause u think she's the happiest person on earth for winning her bet. okay, she's not much cleverer cause she won the bet at her own expense. then, all she ever wants is for u to be happy, and i don't think u'll ever realise it. u're seriously pathetic. If u ever read this, my best friend's best friend, go think about it, my best friend is someone whose hard on the mouth but really soft inside, u ought to know that by now. Go reflect and think in a broader mind of how she's been there for u in her little little ways trying to help u the best she can. then again, i guess u'll never know how she feels for u cause she isn't ever gonna say since u already made ur choice. and to my best friend, we're strong pple, and we'll walk with u through this once more, and next time, trust me u'll find someone who'll cherish u for all that u are... like ur bro said. "go find someone better lar!" haha... =) Messege 2: to my dearest mum. Dear mum, i can't stand the way u ALWAYS think u're right and push all the bad genes to the "tan" family. i mean our bad-temperedness, self centered behaviour and all other aspects that's negative about us(my siblings and i) is always attributed to the fault of the "tan" family, it is NEVER ur genes. All u ever know how to say was "why can't u all be a little more like me". honestly if i was more like u, i'd be an irritating old woman who only knows how to self pity and think she's right. honestly that's all i can get out of u. u critisze so much about daddy's genes that now even bro thinks he's lousy to be a "tan". Is that what u want? to let everyone think u're the greatest woman of all, to let the world know u've sacrificed much? i know u have, but what is ur motive in trying to tell my bro all the negative aspects of daddy. now bro disrespects daddy and us(me and my sis) so much. he hits us when u don't see, acts like n angel in front of u. sweet talks to get his way and u blindly accept it. what the hell is wrong with ur perception. u always praise urself saying u are very perceptive and objective but i don't get it at all. i'm so bloody sick and tired of all ur self praising and thinking u're right. and wanting everything to go ur way, and putting the blame on others and using us as sandbags when u're unhappy. u read the papers bout kids who turn really nasty and evil and u say their parents this their parents tt, and i see a replica of those kids in my bro and u don't give a damn about it. he's so freakingly rude i want to strangle him, he hits me sooo hard that sometimes i get a bruise, but when i tell u, all u ever do is just "yu wei, stop being naughty" full stop. no whacks from u nothing. and when all we(my sis and i) want is for u to discipline him so he wouldn't become a bad boy in future u say we're sadistic and can't wait to see him get punished. oh hell, why would we want him to get punished if we're not being bullied ourselves?? have u ever thought of why we even bother to tell u, have u ever considered what he does behind ur back? ARGH!!!! it isn't my fault i'm not as smart as my bro, its not my fault i don't know how to bootlick, and its not my fault i'm a daughter and not smart okay? maybe u shouldn't have given birth to me, because all u ever said to me was that i only knew how to spend ur money. i seriously am already very obedient okay and yet u can't appreciate. i really wonder when u'll ever say anything encouraging without linking to self pity. i wonder when u'll ever sit down and think about how rude my bro is in public and to other pple in the family. u know what, he's rude to the extent that he even dares to say my uncles and aunties in public, and why do u think he has all these bad images and influences. thanks to my mum. she NEVER fails to complain about them and say EVERYTHING bad about them. she never fails to make herself sound pitiful and sacrificing, and everyone else in the world are just mean pple. she never fails to add in her conversation with my bro "i can only depend on u, ur sisters are all useless, don't be like them, especially ur father." ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bloody pissed off. |